


You’re Worth So Much

by jokingspeaker



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Friendship, Other, Self-Harm, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 21:10:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20032408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokingspeaker/pseuds/jokingspeaker
Summary: “I won’t stand and let you hurt yourself like this any longer!” Jinbei said sternly.“What do you care! It’s my body and I can do whatever I want to it!” Luffy screamed, furious with anger in his voice.“And what about the body that died protecting you?!” Jinbei yelled with just as much ferocity.ORLuffy feels guilty after Ace’s death and blames himself. He turns to self-harm to deal with the overwhelming emotions and feels he deserves the pain. It’s up to Jinbei, Hancock, and Law to help him understand that he’s worth something. Friendship fic.





	1. I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is my take on what happened when Luffy woke up after Marine Ford. The dialogue Luffy and Jinbei exchanged in canon really touched my heart, so I made a story around it. This story is very angsty and sad, but will turn into fluff and friendship themes with Jinbei, Hancock, and Law. Luffy might get a little OOC. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> TW: Self-harm, suicidal thoughts

Everyone on Amazon Lily was afraid about how Luffy might react when he awoke. Law had tended to his wounds, but he advised that if he moved too much and reopened them–he would die.

It was an understatement to say that Jinbei was concerned about the matter. He thought back to Ace’s Words in Impel down...

_“I know I might not make it out of this alive. If something happens to me, could you take care of my little brother for me?”_

He had turned down the request at the time, but after seeing how valiantly Luffy had fought to save Ace, he changed his mind.

After he saw how Ace sacrificed himself to ensure Luffy’s survival, he changed his mind.

And after he saw how broken Luffy was after Ace’s death, he made a resolve to fulfill his request. He cared for Ace a great deal, and it broke his heart to see his little brother in so much pain.

For the two weeks that Luffy was in a comatose state, Jinbei helped Law in changing his bandages and tending to his wounds. He was determined to care for the person Ace gave his life for, and ensure his safety. Jinbei had a lot of respect for the young boy who risked his life for his big brother, out of affection.

He thought about this as he left for the bay, getting some air from the sea.

Meanwhile, Luffy had started to awake in his room. He gradually opened his eyes, blinking once or twice to focus his vision. He saw the ceiling, and then felt the wires connected to his body and the clasp set atop his mouth to help him breath. The monitor was beeping periodically with his beating heart, and all of a sudden–reality hit him.

Where he was was irrelevant— he immediately thought about Ace. He thought about how Ace had fallen limp in his arms, how he didn’t stop bleeding, tears falling from his eyes as the light slowly left them.

And just like that, Luffy screamed. He ripped the wires off of his body, threw the clasp over his mouth across the room. The monitor started to beep very quickly and loudly, and he punched it broken, yanking at his hair and screaming hysterically.

“It’s not true!” He screamed, kicking the equipment next to him over and grabbing anything and everything and breaking it. “Ace is still alive! He _has_ to be!”

He grabbed a vase on the stand next to him and squeezed it broken before throwing it to the wall. A shard of glass got stuck on the skin on his hand and he yelped, clenching his fist in pain. He opened his hand to find blood seeping through the bandages. The blood dripped down his wrist, and he saw Ace in front of him with Akainu’s flame through his body. He saw Ace fall and he felt his raspy, weak breathing against his neck. He felt the blood from Ace’s back and saw it on his hand. He saw Ace’s crying face as he realized he was going to die, and he saw Ace slip out of his hold and fall to the floor in a last breath.

Suddenly it became hard to breath. He _couldn’t_ breath. Tears started to fill his eyes and he clenched the glass tighter to his skin, feeling the pain and the blood seeping out of the new wounds.

He couldn’t take it anymore. He had to get away. Luffy broke the door down and ran, ran as far as he could into the depths of the forest and didn’t stop running until his body gave out. Tears fell into the wind and he fell to the floor, dragging his fingers across the dirt and pounding his head to the floor.

“It’s all... it’s all my fault...” He said through the tears. His throat was tight and it was hard to speak, and he kept pounding his head harder and harder. “I killed Ace.... it’s all my fault that he died!”

Loud sobs racked his body, and he cried and cried, sitting up and yanking his hair and digging his nails into his arms. “I’m so weak..... I’m useless!”

He thought back to how he couldn’t do anything the entire war. He couldn’t beat anybody. Hancock protected him from Smoker and Kuma, Iva protected him, Marco protected him, even Crocodile protected him from Hawkeye. He couldn’t do a damn thing but be a burden, and Ace died because Luffy was too weak to protect himself.

He even thought back to Sabaody, how each and every one of his friends were taken by Kuma right before his eyes. He thought about the fear in their eyes as they looked to him for saving, heard Nami plead _“help me.”_ as she reached out to him before she was taken away. And yet, he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t protect _any_ of them. He couldn’t even save his brother.

_‘If I never went, maybe Ace would still be alive. If I wasn’t so damn weak...’_ He thought to himself, curling into a ball and letting the tears flow out and fall down his cheeks.

“King of the Pirates? What a joke.” He mumbled through the tears, digging his nails deeper into his skin at the overwhelming emotions he was feeling. “I’m nothing.”

And suddenly, he thought.

_‘It should’ve been me.’_

And that thought broke him down. Ugly sobbing left his body, and he was shaking, shaking and trembling at the immense sadness and regret he was feeling. “It should have been me.”

Luffy needed an outlet, he couldn’t breath, he couldn’t _breath_. He grasped at the bandages on his chest and pulled them out, digging his skin and holding his chest as if to stop the hurt his heart was feeling.

In the corner of his eye, he saw the shard of glass on the dirt. The glass from before that had cut the skin on his hand, and he remembered how it hurt, how it distracted him from the uncontrollable sorrow he was feeling. The _relief_ it brought.

With shaking hands, he reached for it. He grabbed the glass and stared at it, looking down at the bloodied bandages on his hand.

He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t do it. But he couldn’t breath, and he couldn’t think, and he needed the pain to _stop_.

He closed his eyes shut and dug the glass into the bandages on his wrist, hissing in pain when it cut through the skin. He held his wrist to his chest and cursed as the blood soaked the bandages, but oddly enough... it felt _right_.

It stopped the pain he was feeling, how overwhelmed he was. And with that, he dragged it across his skin once more.

Tears fell through his eyes as he saw what he had become.

“I’m pathetic...” He mumbled, voice shaky and breaking into sobs.

And he thought, _‘I deserve this pain. I deserve so much worse.’_

He continued to cry as he made more cuts on his wrist, the bandages on his arm becoming soaked with blood and eventually almost falling apart from the tears.

When he had enough, he put the glass down and curled into a ball, crying and sobbing into his hands.

He couldn’t bear to face anyone ever again. He was pathetic. Everyone probably blamed him for Ace’s death, and rightfully so. He didn’t deserve to live.

Luffy thought back to Ace’s smile, how he had always protected him when they were kids. How he was always looking out for him. Even that day in Alabasta, Luffy knew Ace was looking out for him.

And yet, when Luffy had seen Ace’s burning Vivre card back at Thriller Bark, he didn’t do a thing. Not a damn thing. He ignored it, thinking that Ace was okay and that he wouldn’t want his little brother to save him.

But then he thought back to Ace’s crying face as he realized he was going to die. Luffy knew Ace wanted to live, and maybe if Luffy had searched for Ace sooner, had just paid attention to the Vivre card, had just been more serious and not so _weak_... maybe Ace would have been alive right now.

“It’s all my fault... if I wasn’t such an idiot...” He pounded his fists to the ground, crying and sobbing.

He looked at the grass, and remembered how he and Ace had run through the forest together as kids, training and playing together.

Tears fell from his cheeks as he yearned for Ace to be here with him. He wanted Ace to comfort him and tell him he was okay.

_“Quit being such a crybaby! Didn’t I tell you I would always protect you? That’s why I won’t die. I have to take care of my kid brother.”_

He cried at the memory, shaking and trembling.

“Come back,” He whispered pleadingly, clenching his eyes shut.

He sobbed, voice breaking,

_“I miss you.”_


	2. Hiding Secrets

* * *

Jinbei was startled when Law’s men approached him and told him that Luffy had disappeared. He went to his room and saw that everything was destroyed. The monitors, the equipment, the vase—it was all broken and shattered to pieces.

He stared at the blood on the bed and pieces of glass on the floor, scared for Luffy’s life if he continued to destroy things and ended up reopening his wounds.

Jinbei immediately set out for the forest, and hours went by with no sight of Luffy.

It was only when he saw a trail of blood that he was able to find him, sitting against a tree with his knees to his chest and his hands covering his face.

Blood was soaked through his chest and his arms, and Jinbei screamed, “Luffy!”

He ran over to him, thinking that his wounds had reopened and caused so much bleeding. “Luffy, we have to get you back to Law now! Your wounds have reopened. You might die!” He yelled, concern in his voice.

Luffy brought his head up, looking to see who it was. In his mind, he had hoped it was Ace.

He couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

His eyes were swollen and his nose was bright red, and it was obvious that he had been crying. He didn’t say anything and only turned away, embarrassed that Jinbei had seen him in such a broken state and not wanting him to look at him anymore.

“Leave me alone.” Luffy muttered, hoping it would be enough for Jinbei to leave. His wounds hadn’t reopened—these were new and self-inflicted, and he didn’t want anyone to know. He didn’t want them to think even less of him than they do already, and he didn’t want them to make him stop.

His voice was hoarse, and Jinbei guessed he must have been crying. He saw the bruises on his head and the dirt on his clothes, and he sighed.

“Luffy, please, Law needs to close your wounds again—” He grabbed Luffy’s wrist to pull him up, but Luffy hissed in pain and pulled it out of his grasp, immediately standing and looking at him with anger.

_“Don’t touch me!”_ He screamed in fury, holding his wrist to his chest as if to protect his horrible secret.

Jinbei took a few steps back, shocked at the sudden outburst. The look in Luffy’s eyes were full of anger and hatred, and... fear?

Luffy brought his arm to his side, hiding his wrist.

“I said to leave me alone, didn’t I?” Luffy yelled, his voice breaking into a whimper midway. He had started to break down again, unable to handle someone trying to help him. He didn’t deserve any help. “So get out of here!”

Jinbei’s gaze softened, and he took soft, slow steps toward Luffy. It hurt his heart to see Luffy like this, the boy who had been so determined in Impel Down and energetic. The smile that once adorned his face was gone, and not a trace of it remained. “Luffy, please...”

Luffy clenched his fists and felt the blood start to seep out again from the pressure, he closed his eyes and hung his head down low as he felt his throat clench up and the tears start to fall. He didn’t want anyone to see him like this. It was pathetic.

He quickly turned around and ran away, not wanting to ever be found.


	3. You’re Worth So Much

Jinbei decided that Luffy needed space. There was nothing he could do if Luffy was so irritable right now as to lash out at everything. It did worry him that he was bleeding so much—he saw the blood dripping from his clenched fist before he ran off, and he hoped that no more harm would come to him.

He told Hancock about Luffy’s awakening, and requested of her to bring him food. Jinbei told her the state he was in, and how he needed help. He knew about Luffy’s energetic love for food and eating, and he hoped it would help him feel better.

So, the next day, he found Luffy again in the forest, with a different approach.

Luffy was looking out to the sea. He was thinking back to three years ago, how Ace had gotten on that boat ready to start his adventures. How he started the Spade Pirates and joined Whitebeard’s crew. The twinkle in his eyes and the smile on his face when he talked about them. How _happy_ he was.

And how it was all Luffy’s fault that he was dead. Luffy felt so useless. So _worthless_. He shouldn’t even be alive.

He bit his lip, blood coming out from the pressure.

The cuts on his wrist still hurt, and they burned at the touch. He yearned to feel the pain again, he felt he deserved it, and this new mindset scared him. How had he become so broken?

“Luffy...”

The voice scared Luffy and he jumped, so in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized someone was here. Tears were in his eyes as he saw Jinbei looking at him with pity, and he turned away and wiped his eyes quickly, hiding his face.

“What do you want?” Luffy said, a bite in his voice in the hopes of scaring him away. “I said I wanted to be alone.”

He suddenly heard the sound of a rolling cart. Hancock appeared with a cart of food, standing next to Jinbei. “Luffy, you need to eat to get your strength back. Your wounds haven’t... they haven’t healed yet.”

Hancock said this while looking away, a blush covering her cheeks. Luffy thought that not even Hancock could bear to look at him because he was so _pathetic_. He was a disappointment. And they didn’t want to look at him anymore.

“I don’t want it.” Luffy said, turning away again. In reality, he was starving, but he felt he didn’t deserve to eat after what he did. He didn’t deserve the air he was breathing, or the life he was living.

“Luffy, please,” Hancock pleaded, bringing the food to him and holding it to him. “I’m worried about you.”

“To hell you are!” Luffy yelled, smacking the food from her hands and causing it to fall to the dirt in pieces. “Just leave me alone, dammit!” His voice breaks as he says this, eyes tearing up at how mean he was being.

Hancock had brought him that food, had taken him to Impel down and helped him so much at the war, and he was being so mean to her.

Her eyes started to tear up and she started to cry, running away with her face in her hands.

_‘I’m terrible.’_ Luffy thought, throat starting to clench up again and breathing becoming faster.

“Luffy, you are getting out of control!” Jinbei yelled, shocked at what Luffy had done.

“Why don’t you leave too then?” Luffy retorts, turning away again and just wanting to be alone. His heart was beating faster and it was becoming hard to breath. He needed to be alone. He needed to cut.

He suddenly heard Law’s voice as he approached them. Jinbei had informed Law about Luffy’s wounds being re-opened, and how he needed medical attention.

“As much as you’d like that, we need to change your bandages now. If we leave your wounds open like that, you might die.” Law said, leaning against a tree.

_‘So what?’_ Luffy thought immediately.

And that thought made him break down. He needed to get away from here. He needed to leave.

He didn’t realize when Law had approached him, looking closely at the broken bandages on his chest and arms and the bloodied mess he had become. He didn’t realize that Law was staring at the cuts that were visible from the open spaces the torn bandages had left on his arms. And when Law tried to touch him, Luffy immediately pushed him to the ground, heart beating incredibly fast at the scary thought of being discovered and he ran, ran deep into the forest to get away from them.

When he thought he was far away enough, he slumped down against a tree, sobbing into his hands. He thought about how Hancock had brought him that food, and he threw it to the floor. How Law had healed him and taken care of him, and how Luffy had pushed him and destroyed all his equipment. How mean he was to them and to Jinbei and how he didn’t deserve to be saved and he didn’t deserve their help because _he killed Ace_. He pounded his head against the tree and cried, body shaking and breathing erratic. He put a hand to his chest and suddenly he wasn’t able to breath, and he needed relief, he needed _pain_.

Luffy reached for the shard of glass he had put in his pocket. He brought it higher up his forearm, making another cut and watching the blood seep out. It hurt, but he sighed in relief from the overwhelming emotions he was feeling. His breathing was slowing down and his heart beat was becoming calmer. He felt he deserved this, anyway, so what was the harm?

Jinbei was slowly approaching the scene. Law had just discussed with him that he didn’t think Luffy’s wounds had re-opened, but rather there were new ones. And Jinbei thought back to Luffy hissing when he touched his wrist, hiding his arm and not letting anyone touch him.

He saw Luffy leaning on a tree, arm limp at his side as blood soaked the bandages further.

“Luffy.” He said sternly, and alarmed, Luffy jumped. “Let me see your wrists.”

Fear filled Luffy and his heart started to beat faster than ever before. He had been discovered, but he couldn’t let anyone find out, couldn’t let anyone see, couldn’t let anyone think less of him and he was scared of the pity in their eyes when they realized how messed up he was. He got up and backed away from Jinbei, taking steps backwards to run away again.

But he wasn’t fast enough as Jinbei’s strong grip grabbed his arms and turned them over.

“Let me go!” Luffy screamed, tears brimming his eyes and he squirmed and tried to pull away from Jinbei, but Jinbei wouldn’t budge. Jinbei looked at the cuts that were on his wrist, the bloodied mess that had become of the bandages and how _painful_ they looked.

Luffy screamed and punched Jinbei, sending him crashing to the ground. “I said to leave me alone, dammit!”

“_I won’t_! I won’t stand and let you hurt yourself like this any longer!” Jinbei said sternly, getting up quickly.

“What do you care! It’s _my_ body and I can do whatever I want to it!” Luffy screamed, furious with anger in his voice.

“And what about the body that died protecting you?!” Jinbei screamed with just as much ferocity, fists clenched and eyes filled with fury.

That statement hit Luffy hard. His eyes widened as he processed what Jinbei had said.

_‘And what about the body that died protecting you?’_

He looked down at the cuts on his wrists, how they were bleeding. The wounds on his chest and the bruises on his head from how much he had pounded it against the trees. The rumble from his stomach from how much he had deprived it of food. How badly he had hurt himself.

And how Ace had died protecting him, _protecting_ Luffy from harm, and Luffy was here hurting himself like this. Ace had sacrificed himself for Luffy, and he was hurting himself despite his efforts.

_‘Ace would be so upset if he saw me doing this.’_

That thought broke Luffy down, eyes closing and throat clenching as he started to cry loudly into the air. He cried and cried, starting to hiccup and when Jinbei hugged him, he hugged him back, sobbing into his shoulders and digging his nails into Jinbei’s back as his sobbing intensified and racked his body.

_“I miss him, Jinbei,”_ Luffy cried harder. Jinbei continued to hug him. “I wish he was here.”

“I know, Luffy. It’s okay.” Jinbei said softly, arms around his friend as if to protect him from any more pain.

“I _need_ him,” Luffy cried. “I can’t go on without him, I _can’t_, I’m all _alone_!” His voice cracked as he continued to sob into Jinbei’s shoulder.

“You’re not alone, Luffy.” Jinbei said, pulling away from the hug and looking at Luffy in his eyes. “Ace, your guiding light, has left this world. But you still have something to treasure, don’t you?”

Luffy’s eyes widened. He thought of his crew. His friends, all waiting for him.

“My... my _friends_...” Luffy mumbled, tears filling his eyes. “Zoro, Ussop, Sanji, Nami, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brooke...”

_“I miss my friends...”_ He cried.

He covered his face with his hands as he sobbed. “Do I even deserve them? I’m so weak, and useless. I couldn’t do anything to protect them... I couldn’t even save Ace...”

Jinbei pulled Luffy’s hands from his face, forcing him to face him.

“Of course you deserve them, Luffy. What happened wasn’t your fault. You’re worth _so much_, your life is so precious, that’s why Ace protected you. And that’s why you need to take care of yourself, for him.” Jinbei said softly, consoling Luffy. “Ace would want you to be happy.”

All along, that was what Luffy needed to hear. He needed someone to tell him he was enough, that he was loved, and that he deserved to be helped. He started to cry again, hiding his face in his hands from embarrassment to hide from Jinbei.

Jinbei once again pulled Luffy’s hands from his face, and pulled him into a hug. He didn’t want Luffy to conceal his emotions anymore. “Please, Luffy, don’t hurt yourself anymore. Please... let us help you.”

And thinking that that’s what Ace would have wanted, for Luffy to be safe from harm, Luffy softly nodded, smiling as tears fell from his face against Jinbei’s comforting embrace.

“_Okay_.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the official “ending” of this short story. However I felt I needed to give it some closure, so the next two chapters are an epilogue of sorts.


	4. The Brightest Smile

Later that day, after much needed crying and letting out emotions, Jinbei was carrying Luffy on his back to the bay.

A comfortable silence enveloped them, with Luffy clinging onto Jinbei’s back like a lifeline. Jinbei was the only one who Luffy had opened up to, and he trusts him now, but he wasn’t sure about the rest of them.

Hancock, Law, the girls at Amazon Lily... he didn’t know if he could face them. He understood now that he wasn’t alone, and people cared for him, and he needed to take care of himself. But he couldn’t help but feel insecure and uncertain around others... would they think of less of him if they found out?

Luffy played with his fingers and chewed on his lip on the way back to the bay.

Jinbei must have caught on, because he broke the silence with, “How are you feeling?”

Luffy took a while to answer. He debated whether he should tell the truth, but he knew he promised Jinbei he would open up to him.

“... do I have to tell them?” He mumbled, looking down at the ground.

“Not if you don’t want to. But please, you must let Law tend to your wounds at the least. And you must eat to regain your strength and recuperate.” Jinbei answered.

“What if they think less of me?” Luffy mumbled in response.

“They won’t.” Jinbei said swiftly, reassuring the young boy. “Everyone cares about you. We all want you to get better, Luffy.”

Jinbei thinks to his promise to Ace, and he was determined to keep it now. He had grown attached to Luffy and wanted to see him smile again.

Luffy nodded, but still couldn’t help but feel nervous.

When they arrived at the bay, he saw Hancock standing with the old lady and her sisters, as well as Law and his men a ways off from them. Hancock still looked upset, clearly by the sullen expression on her face.

Jinbei kneeled down so that Luffy could get down carefully. He knew Luffy had many wounds and that they must hurt when he moved.

“Luffy!” Hancock yelled, eyes lighting up as she caught sight of Luffy and quickly approached him. “I’m so glad you’re okay. You don’t hate me, do you?”

Luffy stared at her in shock for a moment. He felt a pang in his heart at hearing the concern in her voice, and that she would think he’d hate _her_ after what happened and not the other way around..

“No, I don’t.” He answered, unable to meet her gaze. He crossed one of his arms over the other, unconsciously hiding the cuts. “Hancock, I’m sorry for earlier... I was being mean, but I didn’t mean it. Thank you for bringing me food, and for everything you did for me at Impel Down and Marine Ford.”

Hancock looked like he had just proposed to her. She smiled and a blush crept up her cheeks. “Oh, anything for you, Luffy!” She exclaimed.

Her gaze lowered to his chest and arms—naturally, as the bright red blotches were anything but subtle. And that’s when Luffy started to panic.

Jinbei quickly stepped in front of Luffy, and said to Hancock, “I’m afraid we must get Luffy to Law quickly. He needs to get his wounds tended to. But we’ll be back.”

Luffy couldn’t help but breath a sigh of relief. Thank god for Jinbei.

“Of course! If anyone tries to hurt my dear Luffy again, they’ll have to answer to me!!” Hancock declares boldly. She looks at Luffy and smiles. “You have to get better so that you can eat all the food I prepared for you!”

Luffy almost felt like crying again at the kindness in her words. She cared about him, Jinbei cared about him, and Ace did too. He held back his tears as he followed Jinbei to Law’s infirmary, standing close to him.

“Oh, I see you’re finally back.” Law said. “Are you here to get treatment now?”

Luffy couldn’t really meet his eyes. He felt bad for everything he had done, and didn’t know how Law could still welcome him. “Yeah... I’m sorry for breaking your stuff. And pushing you. I didn’t mean it...” He mumbled.

“Don’t sweat it,” Law said almost immediately, to Luffy’s shock. “I know it must be hard for you after what happened.”

Luffy nodded softly, feeling reassured by Law’s understanding.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then, Law. Please take care of Luffy.” Jinbei said, about to turn around before Luffy grabbed his arm. Jinbei was the only one he felt comfortable with.

“It’ll be okay, Luffy. Law wants to help you too.” Jinbei told Luffy, patting his head reassuringly. Luffy slowly let go of his hold on Jinbei’s sleeve, and watched him leave the room.

The only sound that was heard was the fumbling of Law reaching for equipment. He patted the seat next to him, gesturing for Luffy to sit down. Reluctantly, he did.

“I need to take off your bandages so I can tend to your wounds.” Law said, but Luffy wasn’t meeting his eyes. He reached for Luffy’s arm, but instinctively Luffy pulled it away and hid it at his side.

Luffy couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. Law was supposed to be his rival, one of the rookie supernovas. He should be strong and tall next to him, and he didn’t want to look weak and pathetic. He knew Law had seen his cuts that time by the sea, and—

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think less of you for this.” Law’s voice pulled Luffy out of his thoughts. “I think you’re really strong and brave for what you did to that celestial dragon and for breaking into Impel Down and Marine Ford to save your brother. Not a lot of people would do that. Some people might call it stupid... but I admire your determination.”

Law wanted to say more, but he wasn’t much of a sap to begin with.

“... really?” Luffy asked, slowly looking up at Law.

“Why else would I have gone to Marine Ford? Because I wanted to help you.” Law answered, closing his eyes. “That’s why you have to get stronger for your brother, and for your friends.”

Luffy knew he was referring to the self-harm. He nodded softly, “I know that now... thank you for helping me all this time, Law.”

“Don’t mention it,” Law said, a small smile on his face as he succeeded in getting through to Luffy. He gestured toward Luffy’s arm, and reluctantly, Luffy let Law open the bandages.

A comfortable silence enveloped them as Law disinfected the new wounds and changed all his bandages.

Law, Jinbei, Hancock, Iva, Bon Clay, Whitebeard, Marco... Ace... they all had tried so hard to help him. And he knew now that he was cared for, and he needed to live on, for Ace’s sake.

After Law was done, he and Luffy headed back outside. They were met by Hancock and Jinbei arguing by the massive cart of food.

“This food is for Luffy! _Only_ Luffy!” Hancock said sternly. “But I suppose you can get _one_ bite!”

“My, I am moved by your generosity...” Jinbei said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

“Luffy!” Hancock exclaimed when she saw him approaching them. “Are you ready, now? I got all your favorites!”

Luffy nodded slowly, eyeing the massive cart of food before him. Usually, he would’ve pounced it by now and eaten everything in sight. But he still remembered the guilt he felt last time, whether he was deserving of continuing to live freely like this.

Jinbei’s words suddenly rang through his thoughts. _‘What happened wasn’t your fault. You’re worth so much, your life is so precious, that’s why Ace protected you. And that’s why you need to take care of yourself, for him.’_

Reluctantly, Luffy sat down next to the food and reached for a piece of meat.

_‘Ace would want me to be happy.’_ Luffy thought, and slowly, hesitantly, he took a small bite out of the meat.

The delicious taste filled his tastebuds, and suddenly he felt how truly _starved_ he was all this time. And he had all this meat in front of him—

With Jinbei, Law, and Hancock at his side, Luffy felt safe. And he let himself indulge in the food, starting to eat the meat faster and faster until eventually he was eating anything and everything in sight.

Jinbei and Hancock sighed a breath of relief at seeing Luffy almost back to his usual self. This was certainly a good sign. Jinbei reached for a piece of meat and started to eat it casually.

Luffy suddenly thought to how Ace would eat just like this, eating large amounts of food and then falling asleep in the middle of it. He couldn’t help but start to tear up at the memory of his silly big brother.

“HEY! I said you could have ONE bite _only_, spit it out!!!” Hancock yelled at Jinbei angrily, about to kick him. Jinbei started to choke, pounding at his chest. And Law sighed at how ridiculous they were.

And then they heard Luffy crying. His knees were crossed and he was looking down, wiping his tears with his hands.

“Luffy...! What’s wrong?” Hancock asked worriedly, eyes filled with concern.

When Luffy looked up, he had the brightest smile on his face. It was then that they realized he was laughing, and crying, at the same time.

Jinbei swore he saw Ace through that smile. 

“I miss Ace,” Luffy said through the tears. _“But I’m so happy to have you guys here with me.”_

Jinbei smiled, and he hugged Luffy. Hancock joined the hug; and Law smiled from the side.

Luffy couldn’t wait to see his friends, and their smiles again. He wanted to hug them just like this too.

He continued to eat the piece of meat he had, laughing along with his new friends, "This food is really good Hancock! Where did you— *SNORE*” 

“He fell ASLEEP?!” Jinbei and Hancock yelled in shock, falling over. 

Ace may not be alive, but he lives on through Luffy now. Jinbei was sure of that. 


	5. He’s Still With Me

Later that day, Rayleigh had come by and advised Luffy that he and his friends needed to get stronger if they wanted to avoid such an incident like the one at Sabaody. And Luffy agreed with him. That’s why he decided to go to Marine Ford and let his friends know about the two-year meeting time.

He needed to get stronger to evade anything like this from happening again. He needed to protect his friends from harm, and keep his loved ones safe.

Luffy thought about this as he stood in front his straw hat, having to put it back on before departing. He knew what Jinbei said was true—Ace cared about him and wanted him to live on. He would want him to be happy and continue his adventures with his friends.

But Luffy still felt a flicker of doubt and guilt in his heart. Was that really what Ace wanted, and did he _really_ deserve to keep on living after Ace had died protecting him?

Luffy clenched his fists, and he felt like crying. He took a sharp intake of breath, tears starting to well in his eyes, and then suddenly he felt someone gently push him toward his straw hat.

Shocked, he turned around quickly to see who it was. But he found that there was nobody there.

He knew who it was, however. It was _Ace_. His big brother was still looking out for him.

Luffy started to cry, and he smiled through his tears, putting on his straw hat eagerly.

He would continue living, and keep having adventures with his beloved friends.

“I‘M GOING TO BE KING OF THE PIRATES!” Luffy yelled to the sky, arms outstretched and hat close to his face with the biggest smile he had ever worn. 

_‘Thank you, Ace.’_

_‘For everything.’_


End file.
